Joy Comes From Within Especially When You Do What You Love Even Playing In The Snow

Uplifting quotes, especially ones that remind you that “you are perfect just the way you are” -  are my favorite.  These type of quotes provide just enough inspiration and motivation especially when your day isn’t as perfect as you would like it to be.

“May today there be peace within. May you trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith in yourself and others. May you use the gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you. May you be content with yourself just the way you are. Let this knowledge settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love. It is there for each and every one of us.”

My girlfriend from Chicago sent this quote to me – of course it came with the request to send it to 8 individuals – some one’s way of creating some viral inspiration that feeds on our desire to feel both love and fear of superstition.   I choose love and sharing in a way that supports a bigger self.

I hope you enjoy this quote and do remember every thing you want and really need is really inside you already because you are perfect just the way you are.

What’s one action you could take today that would bring a sense of joy to your life?  I dare you, take it and reap the uplifting benefits.

PS. Tracy this one is for you

How do you stop the feeling of New Year’s and even general overwhelm when your inbox is full of messages that tout perfect goal setting ideals and resolutions you aren’t willing to write down because some are the same as last year and still not quite accomplished or you just don’t have that loving feeling for fully rewriting your life and perhaps actually exercising five times per week.

What if you’re a business and life coach and you’re suppose to be helping others not feel that way but you are currently feeling that way yourself? Oh Crap!

Instead of allowing feelings of overwhelm, “why bother” and “non publicly admitted failure” maybe it’s time for a personal intervention.

What’s a Personal Intervention?

I think of it like “What Not To Wear” but for your daily life so that you can give your self the necessary kick in the butt and get out of overwhelm and the often resulting apathy and paralysis. In fact I’m finding I could use one myself – and instead of pretending it doesn’t exist I’m finally ready and willing to expose myself (yikes) and jump in (double yikes).

Signs you need a personal intervention and are in overwhelm.

• Your head feels like there’s an extra large funnel with a huge amount of ideas, responsibilities, commitments, to do items, etc. that are all fighting to come out the tiny hole in the bottom and it’s giving you one big ass headache
• You complain
• You procrastinate
• You are talking about action but taking little action that is meaningful
• You find your self being short tempered with those you love the most
• Your to do list gets bigger instead of smaller
• Your life circumstances seem out of your control aka another curve ball just got thrown your way and in invite to go have a large glass of wine sounds more appealing than what is really needed at the moment
• Your not even sure where to really start and create some traction

Okay, I could go on and you get the point.

For me it looks like – I’m self employed- clients, projects and income all started shifting and colliding and needed time and attention, at the same time my mother came to visit and was diagnosed with breast cancer which meant she was temporarily moving in with us for five months. Her living arrangement moved our young son out of his room and into dad’s office – oh he works from home too.

Having been through breast cancer myself I knew the time and attention it would take which meant work would get pushed back so that we could keep focus on mom and our family. Anyone living with their elderly parent aka mom or dad knows it has it’s challenges and  newly discovered memorable points.

Just when we thought we were closing that chapter and moving back into a semblance of life as we knew it we discovered at Christmas that mom needs a full knee replacement before being able to move back across the country and into her home.  This will extend her stay another five months, until May of this new year.  So that two week visit just became 10 months and our lovely quaint aka small bungalow suddenly feels majorly inadequate.

It was at this point I fell over the edge into the dark abyss of overwhelm and I can hear my young son telling me how many quarters I owe him for muttering “swear” words like “oh crap!” on a more regular basis.

It feels as if each of the bullet points above are in a bold font and end in exclamation points in my life.

It’s with this knowledge that I know I’m my own perfect client and need a personal intervention. Interestingly this post was suppose to be different and entirely self help for other, but I’m trusting my feeling that it’s perfect not to be writing only about new year resolutions and overwhelm and to go with it.

Personal Intervention Actions

Now I feel like I’m channeling myself on one of the hundreds of calls I’ve had with clients – first I simply listen, then I help them shift so that they can focus, break it down, take action. But before we would even go there it’s important to understand current actions and lack of actions.

Complaining is the #1 way you know you are not in conflict with and not in alignment with your core values.

Procrastination is a way you can tell you are overwhelmed, feel a lack of control and don’t have clarity

Lack of action often happens because you don’t have a vision of what you are really wanting, hence it hard to get started and into action. When you’re not moving it’s sometimes not even important to have it all mapped out, rather to take one step, almost any step in the desired direction.

If these three things are showing up you need

1. Focus (on what’s most important, vision)

2. Break It down (smart goal setting)

3. Take Action – celebrate it all

4. Rinse and Repeat

 Following My Own Advice and Goal Setting Formula

Writing is a form of meditation for myself which helps me gain clarity.  You probably have a tool you consciously use to help you get out of overwhelm and / or unstuck.

In following my own advice – I’m going to start with some more writing and  follow my 4 steps above  – whether it’s in public on this blog (even though I may be the only reader :0) or not I haven’t decided.

Step 1: Focus – I haven’t completed the Values Clarification Worksheet in the past year so I’m going to start there – and hope you take the opportunity to download this goal setting worksheet yourself.

Here’s my new year’s wish for us – we get out of overwhelm if we are there – and we stop it if it tries to creep in and get focused on what’s most important.  I’d love to hear what you’ve tried.

Your Invited…to grab a friend, get inspired and take action!

Here’s the scoop….5 lucky friends and colleagues have been gifted tickets to attend the Money Wise Women Conference courtesy of the amazing founder Marcia Brixey.

Will you ask a friend to partner with you and join me and say yes to put yourself first to both be inspired and discover a few gold nuggets that could make significant difference to your financial life on Saturday, January 14th?

All it takes if for you to say yes I want to make a difference to myself in 2012 is to email me directly at michele (@ ) advanced-approach.com. Please write:  Money Wise Women in the subject line.   I’m going to choose the 5 lucky names on January 1st.

But you don’t have to wait until January 1st if you want to make a difference to yourself and perhaps another friend or family member this holiday season and register today.

The conference content is priceless and tickets are reasonable because Marcia wants you to have a safe place to get inspired and make a difference to your financial wellness.

Imagine joining other women and a few adventuress men who are just like you in a safe place to learn about money.  If you’re still not sure want some extra support, grab a friend or perhaps your own sister or daughter -  click here to register now.  You’ll be glad you did.

Keynote Speakers Include:

It’s Your Life:  Make Friends with Money – Marcia Brixey, author of The Money Therapist:  A Women’s Guide to Creating a Healthy Financial Life

Rainy Days and Money:  Essential Secrets to Weather Any Financial Storm – Debbie Whitlock, Radio Host Femme Finance The Power of Money & Women

Goal Setting for Financial Success & Prosperity – Michele Corey (THAT’S ME!) Advanced Approach

Plus 8 amazing breakout speakers – you’ll be able to choose which sessions you want to attend.

I do hope join me at the Money Wise Women Conference on Saturday, January 14th, 2012.

Regards, Michele

PS. Want to Pay it Forward?  Iif your not able to make it to the conference but would like to sponsor a local woman, buy a tickt and note in the field – “I’m gifting a ticket”

Looking for some morning inspiration to start off your day?

Discover Who Really Said This Uplifting Quote

I always enjoy an uplifting quote. A few days ago I met with a client and he shared some of his current favorites from Ralph Waldo Emerson which reminded me of this long standing inspirational quote that is attributed to three different people: Ralph Waldo Emerson, David Henry Thoreau and Henry Stanley Haskins.

Although we most often attribute the first saying listed below to Emerson, it is Haskins who wrote the original and now often quoted and uplifting words “what lies behind us…”, with the more famous Thoreau and Emerson adding their own versions.

3 Versions Of This Uplifting Quote

“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.” Henry Stanley Haskins

What lies before us and what lies behind us are small matters compared to what lies within us. And when we bring what is within out into the world, miracles happen. attributed to Henry David Thoreau

“What lies behind us and what lies in front of us pales in comparison to what lies within us.” attributed to Ralph Waldo Emerson

I find it interesting that this well known saying has been misquoted and attributed to different people so many times that we now most often make the assumption it is by Emerson.

I originally found these inspirational words as I was beginning my own journey from floating through corporate life in sales to becoming conscious to the fact that I was really dissatisfied deep inside with my current work and life balance status and wanted more.  I just wasn’t sure what that really meant at that time but I knew that if would come from deep within myself.

I had this quote printed on 5,000 postcards (picture above) – I mean what was I really thinking when I ordered 5,000 of them?  I still have plenty on hand.

Here’s my offer – If you’d like one of the postcards with this uplifting quote sent to you so you can hang it on your refrigerator or in your office, comment below and I’ll reply to you individually.

Over the past couple months I’ve been noticing a lack of authentic living theme that directly relates to an insightful  quote “Are you willing to disappoint another in order to be true to yourself“   from the poem The Invitation by Oriah Mountain Dream which I was introduced to more than a decade ago during an ICF coaching conference.

This reoccurring theme often surfaces during a first time session where we explore your core values, current vision, perceived and real obstacles, personal cost, and available resources to create momentum so that you can begin moving the mountain a few pebbles at a time.

I wish I had the perfect answer to why are so many of us willing to take action that better supports others at the expense of not fully supporting your personal self, but I don’t.  Although it reminds me of the overused analogy:  when the plane is going down, put on your oxygen mask first, then help others.

Think about it this way, if you had a bagel business would you give away all of your product because you’re worried that potential clients won’t think your nice?  No, you may share by offering samples but you wouldn’t give it all away.

Would you give all of your money away to the person on the corner with the sign or a worthy cause?  No, you would share in your wealth.

Would you take a job and make a career move, but not accept pay that provides you a very liveable wage because you didn’t want to offend them because they would think you are too greedy?

No, no and no.

Taking action that support your core values and believes is not about being selfish rather, when we come from a place of strength and live authentically we have so much more to offer the world. Truth be told, do you really think others are gaining as much as you are losing when you put your values and what’s most important to you on the back burner so that others will not be disappointed in your actions?

I’ve often used this analogy – when you are not being your authentic self, it’s like you are wearing a mask so that X (you can fill in your blank, mostly it’s about being accepted, liked, acknowledged so that you can feel worthy) happens. While you’re wearing that mask you’ll notice that some people like you, some people don’t, and some people don’t care but there’s a personal price to pay to carry the weight of this mask.

Once you take of this mask and reveal your true and authentic self you’ll notice, some people like you, some people don’t, and some people don’t care but you don’t have to pay such a heavy price, because you’re not lugging this big heavy mask around.

I invite you to read The Innvitation and take a moment to reflect on one action you could take today that fully and authentically expresses you. If you’re willing, comment about it below.

Imagine what your like could be like if you did this every day.

The Invitation

It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living
I want to know what you ache for
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.
It doesn’t interest me how old you are
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool
for love
for your dreams
for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon…
I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow
if you have been opened by life’s betrayals
or have become shriveled and closed
from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your
fingers and toes
without cautioning us to
be careful
be realistic
to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.

If you can bear the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand on the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
“Yes.”

It doesn’t interest me
to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after a night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.

It doesn’t interest me who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the center of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.
I want to know if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like the company you keep
in the empty moments.

©Oriah Mountain Dreamer From “The Invitation”

Image by Sean MacEntee via Flickr

A Linked in conversation from the business coaches for entrepreneurs grabbed my attention this morning. There were 7 comments on an older question that will help you not fail or is it succeed beyond your imagination?

The question was simple, “what’s the single most important skill for business owners (to succeed)?” Now we could easily change “for business owners” to “new managers” – “leaders” – “in your career” -or a vast number of titles because this is great career advice  to build your career . Most of the core choices stay the same which is what I found intriguing.

Of course everyone had an opinion regarding the secrets to success and that’s what made it interesting to scroll through the responses, but there was only one response I saw, that garnered no additional feedback and was what I deemed the best answer.

Perhaps it was because it was written in a story format and you actually add to read the response which many who just want to scan and scroll found too time consuming. Thankfully the responder even spelled it out but this response didn’t get any takes to nod in agreement or acknowledge it’s relevancy.

At this point the additional responses to the question became a shout out where each person said what they had to say with most never bothering to read other responses and a few being sure to add links back to their own very important information. I did appreciate those that both recapped or added to responses.

After coaching hundreds of people over the past decade the skill that I notice gets the most over looked is literally right under our nose – you. Which means the single most important skill I see that create more failure when you don’t have clarity or actions in alignment and more success when you do is “know yourself.”

We’re so busy focusing on all the other stuff on the checklist like: vision, passion, leadership, focus, flexibility, self discipline, being decisive, action, resilience, strategy, systems, a business model, financial understanding, rapport with network, no alternatives (i.e. other paid income), and simplicity which are clearly spelled out as the traits which will bring on your success that we forget to stop and pay attention to your own core and how it affects our actions.

I believe it’s your own core which includes your values that stands as the foundation and stake in the ground for other success traits to springboard.

How do values help you create a foundation for career success? Well that’s an additional blog post that I’ll save for another time. In the meantime I’d be interested in hearing what you think so far.

Reprinted from one of my success or failure posts on Forbes Women

How many times have your heard just “do the right thing” and all will be well.  I recently had the opportunity to walk my talk when it comes to doing what’s right and unbeknown to me others were watching.

My next door neighbor went on a normal training bike ride just over two months ago- that day changed his life and everyone he knows for ever.  While going over the Montlake Bridge in Seattle, he hit a bump in the concrete flipped his bike and is now an incomplete paraplegic.

I have to admit that I’ve never known anyone that lives life from a wheel chair – any one I know that’s been injured was in a temporary and inconvenienced state with crutches, cane, or illness.

Emails on our block were flying each person wanting to know what the other person had found out.  I was then asked to check in with his wife.  My opportunity came  at 10 pm four days after the accident when my husband spotted her walking in the door.  I took a deep breath and sprinted over to the house.

I was nervous.  I immediately found myself thinking – what in the world am I going to say.  Having been a part of a chronic and life changing illness myself a few years back I knew that each person reacts in their own way and allowing them space and kindness is most important.  I knocked and when the door was opened smiled, and looked her in the eyes.

The conversation that ensued created both an out of body experience and a solid grounding experience – kind of hard to explain, but what I knew in that exact moment was that even though I knew it would be absolutely inconvenient and I didn’t know how to make it happen, I knew without a doubt  I would do the right thing by unconditionally supporting  them to bring Lan home.

That night I said a prayer and wrote an email to our community telling them both what they can do now and what is needed – because it takes a village.  They needed a remodel  to happen and be complete before he came home.  The catch was that there was very little to no money to pay for it.

To help give home we needed to figure out how to bring Lan home.  First he needed to be able to get in to the house (which was up steps), his bedroom which was upstairs would need to be moved, doors widened, and bathroom made ADA accessible.  I had no idea how this would happen – rather I offered this as the solution of what needed to be done in order for him to come home.

Something amazing happened…project bring Lan Home developed heart and community.  In seven weeks we – a newly formed community became a village and Lan came home when his electric wheel chair went up the ramp which still had forms attached to the newly poured concrete.

For seven weeks I mostly ignored my own business and became the heart of this project because it was the right thing to do.  During the week we emailed, called, and organized.  Each weekend day for seven weekends we had between 18 to 35 people per day showing up and ready to work. We had our own Extreme Makeover Bring Lan Home Edition.

Amazing local businesses listened to our story and donated supplies and gave significant discounts.  The city designated the handicap spot within a few weeks – another miracle. People brought food so that others could keep working.  When it came down to the last week people took time off from their regular jobs to show up.   People that didn’t even know Lan and Laura said yes, we want to help – and they did – in time, talent and financially.  The family is taking donations to help cover costs – you can donate to Lan here.

By giving we all received the amazing gift that comes from doing the right thing and saying yes. The gift of being part of something much bigger than yourself.

When you do the right thing – synchronicity shows up.

On my last weekend of the project I received a call from a father at my son’s school; he had something for me.  When he showed up on my porch he told me that my name had come up  in the vetting process for community philanthropy and he didn’t recognize my last name.  At night he was researching the candidates on Google and thought OMG it’s Michele – Eli’s mom.

I was completely surprised. I simply kept my head down and took care of business when it came to the project.

There were so many details, hundreds of emails, hours of coordinating, and then there were the online project management spreadsheets I created to keep us on task and the email marketing campaign to keep everyone informed. I was grateful I had an email marketing program so emails could go out, knew to have them set up paypal to get donations, and love excel and spreadsheets which were used for project management.  All of these business tools became personal tools.

I smiled inside as Greg handed me a silver card that is part of Canlis Restaurant Dinner for Life – “Thank you for making a generous difference in our community.”  That’s when I fully took in all that has magically been happening for Lan.   Yes his accident and becoming an incomplete quadriplegic is unimaginable – yet the gift so many received and are still receiving is being able to say yes to do the right thing and being a part of something so much bigger than themselves.

Discover Your Core Values

Although there are more than three core reasons clarifying your values helps you be more successful and full of passion.  I thought I’d share some solid ones to entice you to clarify your own core values.

Clarifying  and then applying your values helps you be more successful because they serve as a path in your life and day to day journey so you know what to say yes to more often and when to say no.  Your values provide a foundation for goal setting from the inside out.

1. Values Allow You to Avoid More Emotional Pain

Want a happier life with less emotional pain? Then clarify your core values.  I prodded my business client Steve (name has been changed) to do a core values exercise and then a session on personal legacy.  The more questions I asked the more apparent it was that Steve who thought he had created a life that includes a successful business to support his two children and wife was really living a very disparate  and out of whack life that left him drained and unsatisfied.

2.  You Preserve and Grow Relationships By Knowing Your Core Values

Back to Steve.  The core values clarification exercise has a segment which forces you to weight rank your top 10 values.  What happens in this part of the exercise is that a value you may find that your #1 or #2 value may really be a #6 and not as important in your day to day life.  And you may have been living as if your #10 values was what was most important – which has left you filled with conflict or dis-satisfactions.

Although I’ve done this exercise with hundreds of people individuals are often taken aback when we debrief the ranking exercise.  Steve was surprised when this happened because he was sure he already know what was most important.  I engaged Steve in a conversation about his newly focused top three values – and he discovered that his day to day life didn’t fully support him and he didn’t fully support what is most important in his life.

Family Happiness was one of his new top three values – yet he spent less then a few hours per week with his sons and even less time as a “family” engaging in activities and actions that felt satisfying.

At this point he recognized why he felt so tired all the time and put some simply structures in place that created better alignment and support for what he knew was most important.  I’ll call this – he began to really walk his talk – and it was exciting.  Guess what, he no longer felt as tired and disengaged and found ways to create more satisfaction.  He’d recharged his spark in his personal and business life.

3.  More Effectively Manage Your Time – Einstein Time

When you have greater clarity in your life – it’s almost as if some type of time magic has been unleashed because you seem to have more time.  I’ve heard this time called Einstein Time.

When you focus your time and energy on doing what’s important you become more and more aware of what’s not important and not just a vacuum of time.

Steve, made a list of all the things he wanted to do with is family and alone with each son.  He felt a bit worried that he wouldn’t be able “deliver” and where would he find the time.   Then I asked him to engage his sons to create their own list.  He quickly learned that his sons wanted to do different things with dad.  These things were less grandiose and included things like:  throw ball and go for ice cream alone.  And guess most of them didn’t take all day or all weekend.  Most of them were activities and actions that were 20 – 60 minutes.

If you have kids or someone special in your life and you spent 20 – 60 minutes doing exactly what was wanted do you think you’d feel more joy and fulfillment?

Steve decided that each week he would do one thing from the list, staggering activities and actions that were short with longer ones that could work with his professional schedule.  A few months later we checked in on these smart goals – the results were significant.

Because Steve spent more quality time doing exactly what his family wanted – all of them were happier and more engaged.  Steve felt that he was being a better provider for his family and felt significant more energy and passion for life.  All of this because he has core value clarity; learned to ask questions to clarify actions to support his core, and he takes actions in alignment with his core values – this is what smart goal setting from the inside out can do for you too.

When it comes to creating alignment you may be surprised which lessons you can learn by paying attention to what is right in front of you.

Image via Wikipedia

Being that my chosen work practically has me preaching, goals + alignment = success, it never ceases to amaze me how easy it is to “preach” and the awareness it takes to “walk your talk” in both your everyday and professional life.

The last three weeks has been filled with constant change.  Not the kind of change most of us are accustomed to like when I meeting goes longer than expected, or the highway is backed up and you didn’t quite leave enough time.  In both of these instances even though your feathers may be ruffled, a phone call generally clears the path and the day continues.

Rather, my change has been cause by my seven year old son’s continued minor illnesses.  Two weeks ago he missed three days of school with a nasty stomach bug that’s been floating around.  It took a bunch of juggling between my husband and I to make it all work.  And I have to admit I wasn’t being fully aware, rather, I was in the mode of “make what needs to happen, happen” and I complained a bit.

Today, we are once again on day three of another bout of what now seems to be the flu.  I thought I could sneak him back to school because he seemed “well enough” and did so yesterday because I have a long list and his illness was being more of a nuisance than anything else.

He came home wiped out and last night the fever and flu came back.  The school informed me this morning that he’s not allowed back in until he’s had no fever for 24 hours and looking at my son curled up on a chair feeling really sick it clicked.  I was not aware and walking my talk.  I had been on autopilot.

These are the lessons I’ve learned this round of my child’s illness:

Stop Being On Autopilot

I went back to the drawing board and began to get clear. Even though my work seemed to be a bigger priority; his continued illness as created a need to make new decisions that I am choosing versus decisions I am doing because I feel like I “have to.”

Focus On What You Most Value

What are your core values?  One of my top 3 core values are “family happiness.”  That means I create alignment by creating the space to put my family first.  Even when it means I need to cancel an appointment – again, and shift my consulting workload.  Like you I often hear the voices in my head saying things about how my choices affect my career I dare not print.  These voices are not real and are driven by fear; my child is real and in need.  When I look back in 5 or 10 years he will be there – it’s pretty doubtful what I’m working on this week will hold the same importance.

Ask Big Questions

What is most important?  And what REALLY needs to happen right now?   What can wait (even if it is a bit painful)?

Am I Walking My Talk? Aka Creating Alignment

Are you boots just fashionable but make your feet hurt or are they fashionable and made for strutting your stuff?  Walking your talk is an analogy for creating alignment.  It means you take actions and live what you most value.  When you create alignment you feel more ease and have a sense of knowing you are on the right path.

I have an entrepreneurial client right now that is juggling between 3 different businesses.  When we met last week I noticed a significant increase in anxiety.  I asked if she thought there was an increase in anxiety because she is not in alignment with her core values and her big picture vision.  As she answered this question about her choices and actions she visibly looked different – more relaxed and then had an eureka moment.

Notice Synchronicity

When we create alignment the path to our goals reveals itself in ways that is sometimes unexplainable.  For instance I was meeting with a gentleman I’m on a board with that is currently self-publishing a book and has a team of people helping with promotion. These were people he mostly didn’t know a year ago.  He shared his story of how easy it’s been and his own amazement at the number of people that are showing up that can and are supporting his path.

Ask For Help

You may notice that when faced with change you find yourself complaining.  Reaching out for help may be what you really need. Although we could have canceled there were appointments we wanted to figure out how to keep.  A neighbor we trust called back and offered to stay home from work for a few hours and watch our son so that both Tim and I could keep a commitment with two individual clients.

It’s been good to get reconnected to what matters most and trust that it will work out – in fact about an hour ago I got the thumbs up for some work to co-facilitate a team vision building day for 30.  So I’d say that my choices for creating alignment and focusing on what is most important are perfect this week and of course I do look forward to my son being healthy and back in school.

True Goal setting success happens more easily when you both feel and look like your vision.

When you get up in the morning and look in the mirror do you see success, energy and passion?

This morning as I was reading an article about personal style and career success in Entrepreneur I started thinking about what it takes for a successful vision to come into fruition.

Many think it’s only about the action – the more you take action the more you are crossing “things” off the list and getting closer to your goals.

Yes, that’s part of the story and what I consider the traditional way of setting goals and accomplishing your vision.   From personal experience it often leaves you not feeling much of anything other than you crossed a bunch of tasks off your list but there are literally 10’s if not 100’s more tasks to put back on your continuing to grow to do list.

Why A Clear Vision and Big “Why” Are Important

When you have a clear vision, which I also like to call your big picture, those same tasks and goals take on a different kind of energy.  You are choosing to do them as a means to an end so that you can have more and more of what you’re really wanting.   Versus complaining that you have to do them and your list is overwhelming.

I love when a client shifts (also known as an aha) and is able to think of their vision like a big story.  Imagine your life as part of a large theatrical production where you both write and play the main character. This is when a vision starts to get more fun and full of passion because you recognize you are the one in charge every day.

Focused awareness is one step to help you gain some momentum in your goal setting success.  How would you answer, “ What is the reason your doing all of those tasks on your todo list anyway?”

If you said, because I have to…well you’re probably not still reading this article anyway.  We reach our goals and live our vision when we are not the victim that reacts to everything.

We reach our vision by first of all having one, then by setting smart goals that are proactive, inspired and put us in charge of our tasks and actions.

If your list contains things like:  you want to have a successful business, be promoted to VP, or have at least $500,000 in your retirement account;  well you’re part way there and need to go deeper.  Stop groaning, it’s really not that difficult, even for the passion impaired.

Here’s a simply strategy, for each of these areas add the following words “so that”.  The “so that” represent your big why, why you really want the first part of the sentence.

It looks like this:  I want to have a successful business so that X.  X could be anything from so that my family is able to spend real quality time and have fun together doing things we love from skiing to time at the beach; or so that I’m able to create a foundation which helps inner city kids pair with mentors so that they build their self esteem and finish high school, get a technical or college degree and choose to contribute to society.

In the first instance one of your core values is probably “family happiness.” In the second example, your core values could be “helpfulness” which I describe as assisting others and contributing and “self respect” – pride, and a sense of personal identity – which may also be what you want the foundation to provide.

When you are able to get to the bottom of your “big why” you want what you want you’ll notice that you’re filled with a sense of connection, energy and passion.  Building that successful business takes on new and inspired meaning.

When you feel this sense of passion you are connected to your vision and goal setting success happens more and more every day.  It’s not just about the successful business in this case, rather taking actions everyday that are alignment and congruent with your core values and why you want it.  That is what is motivating you.  Having and maintaining continued awareness is vital to your successfully achieving your vision.

Now go take a look in the mirror.  Are you dressed for your goal setting success?  Do you see a person, with a clear vision that is ready to take meaningful action that is aligned with your core values and big why?

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Michele Corey, partners with women and a few brave men to build their courage muscle and learn to say no to others more often so they can have more and more of what they want every day.  Discover her musings on Smart Goal Setting from the Inside Out.

This article is adapted from my post on Forbes Woman